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Family Health Handout: Healthy Boundaries

Health Challenge - Build clear boundaries for healthy relationships.

Good Boundaries for Good Friends

Four teenages walking together across a field

Read the zero tolerance limits below and talk about these with your family members when you have time to have a good conversation.

While every friendship is different, there are certain things you must never do or say when you are friends with someone. Zero tolerance limits for true friends include:

  • Don’t hurt your friend physically.

  • Don’t hurt your friend with abusive words or name calling.

  • Don’t gossip (includes texts) behind your friend’s back.

  • Don’t backstab a friend to get something for yourself.

Think about TV shows, words to music, books, Internet sites, and movies. Can you think of examples when partners or friends violated these limits?

Now, think of media examples that show healthy positive friend or dating relationships. Name examples and watch or look at them together.

Use these questions as you talk about how relationships are shown in the media:

  • What signs of healthy relationships did you notice?

  • What signs of unhealthy relationships did you notice?

  • How did they communicate with one another?

  • How did they show or not show respect for each other?

  • Were negative behaviors accepted or glamorized?

  • Are these examples ones that you would want for yourself? Why or why not?

Create a family pledge. Use these pledge point examples for starters. Add your own ideas or expand examples. Sign the pledge. Keep it in a wallet or post in an important place at home.

Pledge Points

Family:

  • I pledge to give and get respect.
  • I will listen without interrupting.
  • We will make family rules about friendships and relationships.

Parents:

  • I will model respect for my child.
  • I will monitor where my child spends his/her time and with whom.

Children:

  • I will be honest with my parents about whom I hang out with.
  • I will respect boundaries that my parents set for my friendships and relationships.

4-H Families Online

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teendatingviolence/fastfact.html has information about preventing dating abuse.